A "Diva" Passes The King

News today that confirms the degradation of American pop culture: Mariah Friggin' Carey has just had her 18th #1 hit on the Billboard Hot 100. That puts her past Elvis Presley into second place; only the Beatles (with 20 #1s) are between this lame "diva" and Billboard immortality.

Showing a surprising level of self-awareness, Carey said "I really can never put myself in the category of people who have not only revolutionized music but also changed the world."

Ain't that the truth - although on a closer reading, it appears she IS taking credit for revolutionizing music, but not for changing the world. Fittingly, the song that took Carey past The King was called "Touch My Body." Oh boy, another song by Mariah Carey that urges the listener to do her. Profound stuff, that. And original

Carey's music is pablum, interchangeable ballads about her T&A and love life and little else, immediately suitable - nay, even IMPROVED - by the Muzak treatment. It is the sort of soft dreck that could be performed by anybody with a passable voice and a big set of boobs to flaunt. At the very least, it helps to have the boobs so you can land yourself a senior recording studio executive to marry, which certainly can't hurt a young singer's career prospects.

Carey's songs and performances are the musical equivalent of cotton candy - essentially insignificant, no real substance to it, and if you consume enough of it, it will rot your brain (or teeth).

Bah, humbug.