Alas, Australia; Adios, Canberra

Alas, Alas, Yorick is leaving Australia this week, after three wonderful years living in Canberra. (That wasn't sarcastic by the way, I really LIKE Canberra.)

So long, Australia. Hope to make it back some day.

300

Randy Johnson won his 300th game. Pretty impressive. And deserved, he has been one of the great pitchers of the past 20 years.

I like this line though, from Johnson: "I mean, it sounds funny, but you know, I played 21, 22 years, I'm 45 and I've come up with 300 wins, and I'm thinking, 'I only have 211 more to catch Cy Young.' "

RIP

You may never have heard of Hubert Van Es. But you've certainly seen at least one of his photographs. Van Es just died, aged 67.

ANZAC Day

It's ANZAC Day in Australia and New Zealand, to remember those killed during the Gallipoli campaign in World War One, and since then in different wars.

It was a key element in the national psyche for Australia, the first time (except against Germans in New Guinea in late 1914) that Australians had fought as AUSTRALIANS, not as troops from New South Wales or South Australia, etc.

Shrinking Flint?

Flint, Michigan - home of Michael Moore and a town with a once-vibrant auto industry - is confronted by abandoned homes and a shrinking population. So they are talking about "demolishing entire blocks and even whole neighborhoods" to avoid the blight of vacant lots.

Interesting concept. Quite a few American cities are facing this sort of dilemma - and not all in the Rust Belt since Little Rock is one of the cities setting up "land banks."

It's Dusty, Cough Cough

Yesterday Canberra was hit with a dust storm. Persistent high winds from the west brought clouds of red dust in from hundreds of miles away. It was not very pleasant. I was walking to a meeting mid-afternoon when the winds were probably around 40 mph/65 kph, and the dust was in my eyes and teeth.

Not the worst I've seen - one we had in Mongolia was way worse. But still not pleasant.

Click here if you want to see a slide show of some photos from the dust storm.

Another New Bad Idea Coming to an Internet Near You

A web site that features reviews of people - not as musicians or professors or doctors, but as a plain old person? This surely won't end well.

Internet columnist Julia Allison, quoted in the ABC story, had it right: "(T)he fact is, the Internet is a place for ad hominem attacks. That's bad, but that's the truth."

And what do you know? If you go to PersonRatings right now, you will see on its front page that Julia Allison is rated 1.80 stars, out of 5.

So I guess I better only say good things about PersonRatings, and hope that nobody goes on-line to call me a poop-head or accuse me of cheating at poker or chastise me for poor taste in neck-ties or criticize my habit of burning toast.

Pets Are Dangerous!

The Centers for Disease Control report that 86,629 Americans visit the emergency room each year because of pets!

Vicious bites? Claws and scratches?

Nah. We're all just tripping over them. Or over their leash, or their water bowl, or over their toys.

So when you leash up Fido be careful out there - while walking the dogs, we suffer something like 19,000 injuries per year resulting in a trip to the hospital!

Maybe it really is time to consider those robot cats...

Happy St Patrick's Day

A happy St Patrick's Day to all out there. And remember, if you have never seen Mick Jagger's performance as Ned Kelly in the movie of the same name, you are indeed blessed...

75%

This is an interesting article. In many sports, performances have demonstrably improved over the past 50 years - faster speeds, higher jumps, heavier weights, etc.

But the percentage of free throws made in college and pro basketball has remained static - 69% in division one college hoops, and 75% in the NBA and the WNBA.

Why? Dunno. But another interesting tidbit - players shoot about 10% points higher in practice than in a game.

A Busy Couple of Weeks

With our Northern Hemisphere visitor, we were busy. A couple of things...

Uluru is a BIG red rock. We spent a couple of days in the Red Center, around Uluru (Ayers Rock). The country out there was less barren than I'd expected - lots of hardy plants growing out of that red red soil. Uluru is quite a thing to see, this big bare rock rising out of the ground, and apparently extending for miles UNDER the earth, like a big dry hot iceberg. We were lucky with our timing, it was "only" around 95F/34C - mild for February.

Sydney has lots of interesting things going for it - Opera Houses, parks, big bridges, shops, etc. But one night there in the central business district we found something that completely surprised me. A MONGOLIAN restaurant.

Not just a Mongolian restaurant - that would be business suicide. But on Pitt Street in the heart of downtown Sydney is a placed that I'd walked past a hundred times called A La Turko. I thought it was just another Turkish restaurant. But when we went in and looked at the menu, I saw a Mongolian section - khuurshuur (essentially meat pies), byyts (dumplings filled with beef), banshai tsai (tea with dumplings) on the menu, along with the Turkish and European (spaghetti, schnitzel, salads, etc) items. Naturally, the owner is a Mongol. And he has a cool map of the Mongol conquests on his wall, a sign in Mongolian on the back door to a work area telling outsiders not to enter, some Mongolian instruments and decorations around the place. So I had the khuurshuur - five big tasty beef pies for $10. Amtai baisan (tasty)! I bet usually the only people who order the Mongolian dishes are expat Mongols...

The Third Annual Alas, Yorick Predicts the Oscars

All the way from Los Angeles to Canberra you can just feel the crackling electricity and tension in the air (or is that just indigestion?) - the Oscars are soon to be handed out and everybody's all aquiver with glee. All over Hollywood nominees are practicing their acceptance speeches and are working on their fake "I'm so happy for him/her" smile in case the TV cameras focus on them a split second after that conniving no-good smirking bastard is given the Oscar they so richly do not deserve.

And now, extending a tradition that goes far, far into the past, to the dim days of 2007, Alas, Yorick offers you - the third annual Oscar predictions.

Best Lead Actor (Male Variety): Lets see... hmm, haven't actually SEEN any of these... Ok, let's go by the process of elimination. Brad Pitt was nominated for something called "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button." All of the straight male and lesbian female voters are jealous about Brad being married to Angelina, so Brad's out of luck. Sean Penn did a movie called "Milk," eh? Well, we all have 'got milk', I don't see how an extended advertisement for bovine excretions can POSSIBLY excite the voters, most of whom are too old to remember the days when they could drink milk without causing stomach aches, no dice Penn. Some guy called Richard Jenkins was "The Visitor"; the voters will be too bored by the title to care. Mickey Rourke was nominated for a role in "The Wrestler", but movies about boring sculptures by Rodin won't attract attention and besides Rourke looks like a freak show and there is a strict limit on freak show winners. So Frank Langella will win for his role in "Frost/Nixon," a mile-a-minute romp about criminals who want to "frost" (gang-talk for murder) Richard Nixon. This will appeal to the political leanings of the Hollywood elite, many of whom also dreamed of frosting Nixon.

Best Lead Actress (Female Variety): A tough category. Meryl Streep is nominated every year, apparently because she has incriminating pictures of Oscar voters. But she can't win for being in a movie about "Doubt"; Oscar likes confidence. "Rachel Getting Married" with Anne Hathaway. Nobody wants to watch boring wedding movies at home, what makes you think Oscar voters will like it? Angelina Jolie somehow was nominated for "Changeling", in which she played a small Tinkerbelle-type elf that swapped bad children for lumps of coal or something. Too confusing, and besides everybody knows that when the adoptions reach a certain stage, Oscar will never come calling - ask Mia Farrow. Kate Winslett is riveting in "The Reader", but to be honest 87 minutes of watching somebody read a book is thin gruel for an award. Besides, climate change is a big issue, and so TV's Melissa Leo will surprise all by winning for "Frozen River", the saga of a Greenland family trying to cope with the fact that their own personal frozen river is melting before their very eyes.

Best Supporting Actor: We can cut thru this quickly. Michael Shannon won't win for "Revolutionary Road," movies about developers and their plight in coming up with street names in a new development named after the Fathers of the American Revolution never win. Josh Brolin was in "Milk," but smacking your lips and belching after chugging a big gulp of bovine secretions doesn't get it. Robert Downey Jr. was very brave to take on the role of a retarded TV weather person in southwestern Florida who can only make one weather forecast - "Tropic Thunder" - but as somebody once said, "never do the full retard." Philip Seymour Hoffman is a wonderful actor but I doubt "Doubt" will inspire any wins. Besides, they all face really tough competition - an actor who took on a freakish role, nailed it, and then snuffed it. The late Heath Ledger will win, partly as a "career accomplishment" award, for playing the Joker in "The Dark Knight."

Best Supporting Actress: MORE nominations for "Doubt"? I doubt Amy Adams has a chance. Besides, her name is too bland. Plus, she and Viola Davis (who is perhaps the FINEST actress today named after a musical instrument) will split the doubtful vote. Taraji Henson was with Brad Pitt in "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button," so she will be unseen by the straight women Oscar voters and will inspire jealousy among the gay male voters - no chance. Penelope Cruz was in something called "Vicky Cristina Barcelona," about an insatiable girl who marries an entire city in Spain. Perversion with a Spanish accent rarely wins. So it will go to Marisa Tomei in "The Wrestler," only because many Oscar voters would relish the opportunity to wrestle her.

Best Director: Some like Danny Boyle's chances for "Slumdog Millionaire," but in these difficult economic times nobody wants a movie about a dog with too much money to spend to win. Stephen Daldrey directed "The Reader," but apart from turning the camera on and off how hard was that? Gus Van Sant directed "Milk", which might deserve an Oscar for make up (that is a LOT of white mustaches) but a documentary type movie about drinking milk and pouring it on your cereal isn't a challenge. Again some guy called Fincher directed that Button movie, but the only thing more boring than clothing accessories are the directors of such things. So Ron Howard will win for directing his fantasy of having Richard Nixon rubbed out in "Frost/Nixon".

Best Picture: Nothing new here. "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" might win at a clothing accessories convention, but not in Hollywood. "Milk" might win at the annual Wisconsin Dairy Farmers Convention, but not in Hollywood, "The Reader" might win at the American Library Association Annual Meeting and Mass Read-In, but not in Hollywood. "Slumdog Millionaire" might win at the local dog pound, but not in Hollywood. "Frost/Nixon" - now there is a theme EVERYBODY can get around. In a year when the Democratic candidate won a convincing victory, a movie about the murder of the second-most-despised Republican President of recent history is a shoo-in.

Mom Down Under, Pt 1

Mom arrived yesterday, woo hoo! So today, we took her out to Tidbinbilla Nature Reserve. We went in the morning to try to beat the heat (today's predicted high 99F/37C). We managed to watch some kangaroos and wallabies, and saw some emus go jogging by. We saw lots of birds, including sulfur-crested cockatoos, black swans, and big pelicans (pelicans - this far in from the ocean?).

We didn't see the koalas though we are sure they were hiding there somewhere...

Then we went the short distance to the Canberra Deep Space Centre for lunch and checked out the genuine moon rock...

Neil Young in Melbourne

I made the trip to Melbourne to see Neil Young in concert on Wednesday night. A few observations...

Neil Young still rocks

I was worried - I'd read a comment on a website from somebody who said he'd seen Young in concert a couple of years ago and said he was awful, especially his voice. I needn't have worried - Young sounded great. His voice sounded fine - just like you hear on all of his songs going back 40-plus years now. His guitar playing was as great as you could expect. He and his band played for two solid hours, and were very good.

Some complaints - I only knew about half of the songs he played. Some of the stuff, new and old, he played I just wasn't familiar with, although they all sounded good. And after great versions of "Spirit Road" and "Cinnamon Girl" - the highlight of the show - followed a long set of Young's more countrified stuff, including a couple of songs off of Harvest.

But then he finished with a fiery "Keep On Rockin' in the Free World."

When he came out for the encore and started the song and singing, I was disoriented. I knew the song - but this wasn't a Neil Young song. A split second later I realized it was the BEATLES' classic "A Day in the Life." And wow, Neil Young totally owned it. I was wondering as the song built up, how he and his band would handle the "wall of sound" parts of the song. The Beatles never had to worry about that - they had quit playing live shows by the time they released this song on Sargent Pepper's. Young and band just thrashed the guitars, drums, bass, and keyboards to build it up.

Despite muffing a couple of words (the bit about "found my way upstairs and had a smoke, somebody spoke and I went into a dream"), it was great. And the the final wall of sound to end the song was a loud, long, messy, glorious bit of rock-and-roll over the top performance. By the end, Young's guitar strings were breaking and he was using them to flail at the other strings. It was quite a performance.

This was one of the two most surprising encores I've heard. The other? Wilco doing "Don't Fear the Reaper."

But I was still disappointed not to hear my favorite Young song, "Like A Hurricane."

My Morning Jacket

I was glad to see Young - but the presence of Lousville, Kentucky country/prog-rockers My Morning Jacket made me really want to go. These guys are brilliant. They have a reputation for strong stage shows, and they were very good in their 45 minute set.

But...

Outdoor Venues Suck

But this was at the Sidney Myer Music Bowl, an amphitheater featuring a big lawn in a park by the Yarra River in Melbourne. And it had all the problems that this sort of place has. The ground is hard. People walk all over you. Smoking. The music isn't quite loud enough, so the morons around you can still carry on a conversation. And clearly most of the crowd didn't know MMJ, and all around me people were carrying on conversations while MMJ played. I'll have to catch them somewhere when they are the headliners.

Plus Melbourne was in the middle of a heatwave. The daytime high on Wednesday was 44C. That's 111F in American. Either way it's HOT. By the time MMJ started at 7:30 (a full 30 minutes BEFORE my ticket said the show was supposed to start, glad I was there by 7:15) it was still in the upper 90s. At least the sun had stopped beating on us.

And New Devices to Blather At Us

One more thing. Advertisers continue to find new ways to direct commercial messages at us. They especially like captive audiences. And Melbourne Airport has a new (to me) device. A little TV screen that comes on automatically. It is on those hot-air hand dryers! You put your hand under their to dry (no paper towels so you have to) and a little commercial comes on the little screen. It's enough to make a guy want to skip washing his hands.

Fifteen Well-Earned Minutes

Lots of people earn the proverbial 15 minutes of fame for doing something stupid like getting their head caught in a fence or leading cops on a cross-country car chase culminating in being rescued from a river. Or they earn it for somebody else's stupidity, like that call-girl who was ex-New York Governor Spitzer's regular "date."

But occasionally somebody earns it for something positive, good, not embarrassing, maybe even heroic.

Like Chesley Sullenberg, the pilot who landed the US Airways flight safely on the Hudson River in New York, saving now only his life and the life of others on the plane with him, but also the lives of who knows how many people in Manhattan or the Bronx that his plane could have crashed on.

His hometown of Danville, California gave him a parade. Katie Couric is going to interview him. This guy, who said he and the rest of his crew was "just doing the jobs we were trained to do" (an understatement), has earned it.