ANZAC Day

Today is THE Australian holiday - ANZAC Day. So it's a quiet day in Canberra with various memorial services at the Australian War Memorial and the French Embassy among other places. Big cities and small towns all over Australia are also commemorating the day, and there are also ceremonies in France and Turkey.

Survived the Torch

The Olympic torch procession made it through Canberra without too many problems, letting the ACT breathe a sigh of relief. There were pro-Tibetan protesters. But there were many more Chinese students waving the red Chinese flag. Media reported that over 80 buses of Chinese students came in from Sydney and another 50 buses from Melbourne, ensuring a suitable enthusiastic and pro-Chinese response. Some of these students allegedly intimidated Tibetans and their supporters along the route.

But still, nobody grabbed the torch or anything like that...

Here Comes the Torch

Canberra is anticipating with a mixture of excitement and dread the arrival of the Olympic Torch. Yes, it will be jogged thru the streets of Canberra on April 24 - the only stop in Australia.

The drama has already begun. One torch-bearer has dropped out, saying she doesn't want anybody to think she condones China's actions in Tibet. We'll see if any others throw in the torch, I mean towel.

There has been much back and forth about security. At first Australian police said the Chinese "torch attendants" would have to stay on the bus. Then they said that a couple of them could get off the bus to help light the torch, etc. Then today I heard on TV that the Chinese Ambassador said the torch attendants would take action if necessary to protect the torch - which sounds to me at least like they're crossing the blurry line from caring for the torch to providing security. We'll see how the Australians respond to THAT - they are usually inclined to keep a close hold on security arrangements...

I expect tens of thousands of Chinese and Tibetans and others will make their way to Canberra for the torch. The Tibetans (and others) to protest. The Chinese students to support the Olympic spirit. Or to be vigilantes. Or to provide unofficial security. Depending on who you listen to.

The ACT (Australian Capital Territory) government has already revised the route, sticking to broad avenues where they hope they can try to keep protesters at a distance. The Prime Minister Kevin Rudd has said that if Australians want to protest, they should do so by turning their back as the torch passes.

So - will we have another chaotic torch-grabbing scrum fiasco like in Paris and London? Will the ACT cross up everybody and do a last-minute switch to make an anticlimactic relay run from one sheep paddock to another like San Francisco (well, no paddocks in SF)? Will pro-Tibetans and pro-Chinese regime types clash? Or will it all be calm?

Stay tuned. The run starts about 8:00 AM on Thursday here, that'll be 6 PM US EDT.

Something Was Missing

I went with a buddy the other night to a club to see a Van Halen tribute band called X Halen. They were strictly a David Lee Roth-era VH band - no songs after DLR left and was replaced by Sammy Hagar and That Other Guy.

Their David Lee Roth guy was pretty good - long DLR-like hair, sang very much like Roth (including sometimes too-frequent howls and screams in place of lyrics). And when he spoke between songs (again, too much) you could never tell that he wasn't a nice Jewish kid from Indiana - absolutely NO hint of his native Australian accent on stage. But when he was circulating through the small crowd between sets, he was obviously Australian.

The rest of the band was very good. The guitarist was excellent. So was the rhythm section. Their versions of the various Van Halen classics were very good. And the lead singer several times criticized the Real Eddie Van Halen for firing bassist Michael Anthony in favor of his song Wolfgang (I agree).

They hit most of the highlights from each of Van Halen's first five albums, with more emphasis on Van Halen and 1984 (after all, they probably had the most hits for the originals) than the others. I particularly liked hearing "Dance the Night Away," always one of my favorites, and a smoking version of "You Really Got Me" (thanks again Dave Davies).

But they didn't play "Running with the Devil."

It was weird. It was getting to the end of the show. They'd just done "You Really Got Me" and then "Jump." Then the faux David Lee Roth was rambling and vamping about songs they would play next, semi-coherently just like the real DLR. The bass player tentatively began with the "bmm...bmm...bmm...bmm" bass line that begins "Running with the Devil" but faux Diamond Dave said something about "we already played 'Panama'" (which they had). The guitarist did a couple of goofy riffs from "Panama". Somebody else yelled something, and our ersatz David Lee Roth started riffing about when it's hot you want something to cool you off... and they played "Ice Cream Man."

It was a great song. And then they took their bows and the lights came on. No "Running with the Devil?" Whaaa?

Unfortunately, that put a mild damper on a very fun evening with great music and a crowd full of oddballs. The most uncomfortable thing was how the mock Roth kept calling up a guy called (I think Jimmie) on stage to bring him some more Jack Daniels (iced tea I think). Jimmy works at the club - his shirt said Security.

Jimmy is also about three feet tall - he's a Little Person. It was a little weird - not clear whether the Aussie Diamond Dave (who was about five foot tall himself) was laughing AT Jimmie or WITH him.

In any case, I didn't know they made leather pants that small.

Thunder from Down Under

Yes it's true - AC/DC are now working on a new album to be released some time this year. More thunder from down under - except they are actually recording in Vancouver, Canada. Oops.

Anyway, if you hit this link you will get a bootleg video of an early take of one of their new songs, called Creme My Egg, an Alas Yorick exclusive.

What Did YOU Leave on the Train?

Feeling like you had a bad day? Bummed out because the weather sucks and your favorite team of professional steroid-popping ath-uh-letes were beaten by another team of professional steroid-popping ath-uh-letes?

Then at least be glad you didn't have the day that Rob Napier had. Napier was on a train ride, then got off and as the train was pulling away, realized he had left something in the luggage rack.

An umbrella? A spare book? A laptop? A briefcase full of his company's personnel files? A birthday present for his wife/girlfriend/mistress?

Nope, a violin.

A violin that belonged to his mother.

A violin made in Venice.

A violin made in 1698.

A violin that is worth $400,000.

Napier called the rail company, but of course the violin was not found on the train. But there's a $20,000 reward for it, so keep your eyes open.

A "Diva" Passes The King

News today that confirms the degradation of American pop culture: Mariah Friggin' Carey has just had her 18th #1 hit on the Billboard Hot 100. That puts her past Elvis Presley into second place; only the Beatles (with 20 #1s) are between this lame "diva" and Billboard immortality.

Showing a surprising level of self-awareness, Carey said "I really can never put myself in the category of people who have not only revolutionized music but also changed the world."

Ain't that the truth - although on a closer reading, it appears she IS taking credit for revolutionizing music, but not for changing the world. Fittingly, the song that took Carey past The King was called "Touch My Body." Oh boy, another song by Mariah Carey that urges the listener to do her. Profound stuff, that. And original

Carey's music is pablum, interchangeable ballads about her T&A and love life and little else, immediately suitable - nay, even IMPROVED - by the Muzak treatment. It is the sort of soft dreck that could be performed by anybody with a passable voice and a big set of boobs to flaunt. At the very least, it helps to have the boobs so you can land yourself a senior recording studio executive to marry, which certainly can't hurt a young singer's career prospects.

Carey's songs and performances are the musical equivalent of cotton candy - essentially insignificant, no real substance to it, and if you consume enough of it, it will rot your brain (or teeth).

Bah, humbug.