This is just sad

So you've heard the big sports news today? No, not about the NFL ending its lockout against the referees (they were squabbling over $3 million, something like 0.008% of the NFL's revenues) - and football officials actually being CHEERED in last night's Baltimore-Cleveland game. No, not about the Washington Nationals getting closer to clinching the NL East. No, not about some boring golf crap.

The big news is, there is going to be a new professional basketball league!

Oh and did I mention it is a women's league? And the players will play in their underwear bikinis?

Yes, the new league is the Bikini Basketball League (or Association - they seem to be unsure) - and as its Twitter page says, it will be a league for "Sexy Athletic Ladies". I assume they are referring to the players, because clearly the target audience will be men. Maxim magazine readers, no doubt. The kind of guys who wouldn't dream of watching any women's sport except maybe beach volleyball - oh and cheerleading, if you buy that as a 'sport'.

This is just sad. First, it's sad that the league organizers apparently think that a little T&A on the court will put male butts in the seats (and make male viewers tune in if they can get a cable deal). And it's degrading to women and women's sports. It's fine to appreciate the view when a good looking athlete is on the screen - but a league where "looking good in a bikini is a must" is not much better than a beauty pageant, with dribbling and shooting as the talent competition instead of twirling a baton.

Check out the name of the team in the photo - Miaim Spice. Sure they can't get the minor things right, but by jove they have a hot babe in a bikini holding a basketball and staring in a come-hither fashion - THAT'S what the league will be all about!

Edit - sorry but Blogger hates paragraphs apparently and won't let me have any. Edit - fixed. Bizarre, I had to insert

to convince Blogger that I really did want paragraphs, not one long block of text.

Bad Sports Day

I cannot remember the last time the Washington Post sports section was so depressing.

First and perhaps worst is the whole Penn State child rape scandal. What the hell was McQueary and Paterno and the rest of them thinking? If they had acted sooner, how many rapes of young boys could have been avoided? The students' reaction to Paterno's firing is also a bit depressing. I suspect they'll look back at this and be embarrassed at their reaction. Paterno's departure under these circumstances is unfortunate. But it's not as bad as not acting immediately to prevent child rape.

Second (and perhaps the worst if he is killed) is the kidnapping of Wilson Ramos, the catcher for the Washington Nationals, in his home town in Venezuela. Kidnapping is lucrative business in Venezuela and somebody like Ramos, a major league baseball player and therefore very well known in baseball-crazy Venezuela, is an attractive target. I hope he gets out alive, of course. And even apart from the pain this brings Ramos and his family, this has to be bad news for Venezuela's winter baseball leagues. I think if I'm a major league club I ban my players from going there - though it may not be possible to tell Venezuelans not to go to their home.

And finally, news (again) that if DC United don't get a soccer-only stadium, they might leave DC. That would suck.

300

Randy Johnson won his 300th game. Pretty impressive. And deserved, he has been one of the great pitchers of the past 20 years.

I like this line though, from Johnson: "I mean, it sounds funny, but you know, I played 21, 22 years, I'm 45 and I've come up with 300 wins, and I'm thinking, 'I only have 211 more to catch Cy Young.' "

75%

This is an interesting article. In many sports, performances have demonstrably improved over the past 50 years - faster speeds, higher jumps, heavier weights, etc.

But the percentage of free throws made in college and pro basketball has remained static - 69% in division one college hoops, and 75% in the NBA and the WNBA.

Why? Dunno. But another interesting tidbit - players shoot about 10% points higher in practice than in a game.

An Aussie Super Bowl

Well, more specifically, there will be an Australian player in the upcoming Super Bowl. Both the Arizona Cardinals and Philadelphia Eagles, who will play for the National Football Conference championship and a spot in the Super Bowl, have Australian punters. Sav Rocca is the punter for Philadelphia, and Ben Graham for Arizona.

Both were stars in the Australian Football League for years before making the move (Graham in 2005, Rocca in 2007) to the NFL for bigger paychecks. In another bit of trivia, Ben Graham was named one of the co-captains of the New York Jets in 2006, making him the first Aussie to be a captain of an American pro sports team.

So, barring injury or something, either Graham or Rocca will make the first Super Bowl appearance by an Australian.

Australian Anti-Shark Device

Australians are big swimmers, and there are sharks out there. So every Australian has an anti-shark device, or two.

Fists.

You think I'm joking? Steven Foggarty, out surfing near Sydney, felt a shark bite his leg. It wouldn't let go, so Foggarty punched it right on the schnozz.

And then it let go, and Foggarty got back ashore and off to the hospital to get his leg taken care of.

Alas, Yorick Wraps Up the Olympics

The Olympics are dead I mean over! And in case you missed it, here are a few important points to consider, courtesy of the crack Alas, Yorick research team. And Google.

We’re Number 1! Maybe.

Who won? Depends on how your count it. The US won the most medals overall, 110. But China won more golds with 51. Who’s first?

China had the most gold medals since 1988. The all-time record is the US in 1984 winning 83. But that needs a big fat asterisk, because that was the year the entire Soviet bloc except Rumania boycotted the Olympics in Los Angeles – so the competition was much weaker than usual. In any case, China is the first country other than the US and the Soviet Union/Russia to lead the gold medal count since 1936.

Rule, Britannia.

Great Britain (as the UK is known in the Olympics) had a great games – finishing 4th in both gold medals and overall medals, winning the most medals ever for GB. The fact that they finished ahead of Australia (5th in overall, 6th in golds) has caused great angst with some in Australia about losing to the Poms... Wait till next time! In ... London.

Cheering for the Little Guys

I always like to see small countries do well. Especially Mongolia, since I lived there. Well, this time Mongolia won 2 golds and 2 silvers, their best Olympics ever and their first golds ever. Being descendants of Genghis Khan (possibly literally, something like half of Mongolians claim descent from the Big Guy), naturally all their medals were in he-man combat-type sports – a gold and silver in boxing, a gold in judo, and a silver in shooting.

It is ironic they did it in China, which still remembers the Mongol conquest (Great Wall of China, anybody?)… If there was an equestrian event involving five-year-old kids riding bareback on horses over a 30 mile course, Mongolia would be a lock for that one, too! And for that matter, they would be competitive if sumo wrestling ever became an Olympic sport.

Rugby!

So last weekend we went to watch the Canberra Raiders play the Newcastle Knights in National Rugby League action.

I've watched a fair bit of rugby league on TV, but this is the first game I've been to in person. A few observations...

For people raised on American football ("gridiron" in the local lingo), rugby league games go FAST. There are relatively few interruptions. The guy gets tackled, after flopping about a little to get the other guys off of him (if they stay on too long they get penalized, happened to the Knights several times) he stands up, rolls the ball under his foot to his team-mate, and play continues. In play, with the hitting and tackling and the shape of the ball, it more resembles American football. But in pace, it is closer to soccer.

Stadium food in Canberra was actually cheap and decent. I had a good and large roast beef and grilled onion on a tasty roll sandwich that ran me about US$7. Coffee (the usual high-quality espresso based coffee) was about US$2.80, roughly the standard cost for a good cup of coffee in Canberra. A beer was only US$4! I'm used to American stadiums really jacking up the prices.

The fans were like fans everywhere - yelling at the officials to call more fouls, complaining when a Raider made a mistake, the occasional obscenity wafting out across the scene. Though the fans left in a pretty good mood - the Raiders thrashed the Knights 38-18 (two late Newcastle scores made the game look closer than it was), winning their fifth game out of the last six.

But I'm sorry, the Raiders' cheergirls (as they call cheerleaders) were lame. The outfits were suitably skimpy (made me cold watching them on a day when it was about 50 fahrenheit/10 celsius) but they didn't do much. A little rah-rah routine at half time, but they actually sat on chairs during the game, occasionally waving their pom-poms. It seemed rather muted compared to American cheerleaders.

Oh - and definitely no MALE cheerleaders. We asked our Australian friend if there were male cheerleaders, and he looked as if we'd asked whether Australia had any space aliens in its government. By way of proving that there ARE male cheerleaders in the US, we mentioned that George W. Bush (pictured above) had been a male cheerleader in high school. Our Aussie friends laughed out loud. I don't think they were impressed by that factoid.

Here Comes the Torch

Canberra is anticipating with a mixture of excitement and dread the arrival of the Olympic Torch. Yes, it will be jogged thru the streets of Canberra on April 24 - the only stop in Australia.

The drama has already begun. One torch-bearer has dropped out, saying she doesn't want anybody to think she condones China's actions in Tibet. We'll see if any others throw in the torch, I mean towel.

There has been much back and forth about security. At first Australian police said the Chinese "torch attendants" would have to stay on the bus. Then they said that a couple of them could get off the bus to help light the torch, etc. Then today I heard on TV that the Chinese Ambassador said the torch attendants would take action if necessary to protect the torch - which sounds to me at least like they're crossing the blurry line from caring for the torch to providing security. We'll see how the Australians respond to THAT - they are usually inclined to keep a close hold on security arrangements...

I expect tens of thousands of Chinese and Tibetans and others will make their way to Canberra for the torch. The Tibetans (and others) to protest. The Chinese students to support the Olympic spirit. Or to be vigilantes. Or to provide unofficial security. Depending on who you listen to.

The ACT (Australian Capital Territory) government has already revised the route, sticking to broad avenues where they hope they can try to keep protesters at a distance. The Prime Minister Kevin Rudd has said that if Australians want to protest, they should do so by turning their back as the torch passes.

So - will we have another chaotic torch-grabbing scrum fiasco like in Paris and London? Will the ACT cross up everybody and do a last-minute switch to make an anticlimactic relay run from one sheep paddock to another like San Francisco (well, no paddocks in SF)? Will pro-Tibetans and pro-Chinese regime types clash? Or will it all be calm?

Stay tuned. The run starts about 8:00 AM on Thursday here, that'll be 6 PM US EDT.

Morons Exist

Yes, morons can be found all over the world. The lastest manifestation in Australia is a German-born soccer player called Andre Gumprecht, who plays for the Central Coast Mariners in the A League. On Monday, the Mariners had a costume party to mark the end of the season (they lost in the championship game to the Newcastle Jets).

And Gumprecht "dressed in a khaki military uniform and mustache to resemble the former German dictator."

Apparently, he didn't get the memo from Prince Harry that dressing as a Nazi to attend a party outside of Aryan Nation circles is hardly ever a good idea.

It is especially stupid given that Gumprecht is German, where doing such a thing would not only be stupid, but illegal.

Another Mariner is in trouble for the same party. Tony Vidmar dressed in white robes and put on black face, apparently to resemble Morgan Freeman in his role of God in Bruce Almighty. That was kind of dumb and insensitive, presumably spurred by the fact that Vidmar's nickname is "God." But it doesn't rise to Gumprecht's level of moronity.

What's So Tough About This?

The Washington Nationals made an interesting deal with top pitching prospect Jack McGeary, who wanted to go to Stanford. "Pitch for us in the summer, and we'll give you a big bonus ($1.8 million) and pay for your tuition at Stanford."

A savvy deal by the Nationals, and McGeary agreed. Fine. But why does this article describe this as such a tough prospect?

The gist of it: McGeary studies during the school year - apparently a heavy course load. During spring break, he goes to Florida and works with Nationals coaches. And during summer, he'll pitch for a Nationals minor league team.

In other words - McGeary goes to school full time, works during his spring break, and works during the summer. The only difference between THAT and what I did is that I also worked DURING the school year (often 40+ hours a week) and I got a lot less than $1.8 million for it.

I don't begrudge him the money - nobody held a gun to Jim Bowden's head and I generally don't mind about pro athletes making big bucks. It's a free market. But McGeary's plan only seems like a tough deal to the average sports journalist or baseball player who is used to nice long vacations, plenty of free time, and university classes (if any) like "Theory of Coaching Badminton" or "How to Interview A Jock."

I still remember what a relief it was to graduate and get a full-time job - because a 50-hour work week is easier than working 30-40 hours AND taking a full load of classes. McGeary will have it easy.

Beckham Does Australia

Sydney has been buzzing over the past few days - the world's most famous metrosexual David Beckham was in town, with his Los Angeles Galaxy teammates, for an exhibition match against the glamor team of the Australian A-League, Sydney FC.

Becks arrived over the weekend and was a hit. The usual thing. Seeing cancer patients (but not actually curing them). Doing some promo for his perfume. Being mobbed while out for a stroll along Darling Harbour.

Then they played the match tonight, before a crowd of over 80,000. Beckham played well - the usual ability to pass a ball sixty yards and drop it right at his team-mate's foot. Good vision, even did a professional foul when necessary.

And, in the 44th minute, following a foul a few yards out of the penalty area, Beckham struck one of his famous free kicks to beat the Sydney goalkeeper and score his first goal in Australia. The crowd loved it.

The game itself was pretty entertaining, and both teams played hard. LA, maybe looking to impress their new manager, former Dutch international and Chelsea player-manager Ruud Gullit, started off strong and dominated the early play. Former US international Clint Mathis looked pretty good in his first game in this stint with LA. But in the 19th minute, very much against the run of play, Brazilian international and the #1 player in the A-League, Juninho, scored a goal that seemed to deflate LA. Beckham's goal brought it to 3-1, and Edson Buddle scored a nice goal early in the second half to make it 3-2, but more sloppy play by LA's defense and the goalie Joe Cronin put the game out of reach. US international Landon Donovan, who also played well, scored a late consolation goal to make it 5-3.

So Sydney FC won some bragging rights for the A-League in this first exhibition between A-League and MLS teams. But it doesn't prove anything. The Galaxy, despite the presence of Beckham and Donovan, are far from the best MLS team, and their terrible defensive gaffes this game showed that. Gullit has his work cut out for him.

And Australia awaits word of whether Becks will return to Australia when his wife Victoria comes down under with the rest of the reunited Spice Girls...

Thorpe, Coming Off His Pedestal?

Aussie swimming legend Ian Thorpe says he's "shocked" by allegations that a test in 2006 showed abnormal levels of testosterone and some hormone that I've never heard of before. Australian Prime Minister John Howard, taking a bold political stance on the side of the revered Thorpe, said "As far as I'm concerned, until solid evidence of the contrary is produced, Ian Thorpe remains a great Australian champion."

I'm shocked, too. Shocked that anybody can be shocked at the idea that an elite athlete in a competitive sport like swimming is using illegal substances to gain an edge. I reckon there are two categories of swimmers at the ongoing swimming world championships in Melbourne -- those using steroids or growth hormones or who knows what sort of biological agents, and those who AREN'T IN MELBOURNE AT ALL!

Not to be cynical (yeah, ok, I know that I can be) but it makes you wonder whether this had anything to do with Thorpe's retirement later in 2006... And I wonder whether John Howard will have to eat his words on this one.