Alas, Yorick

A blog about things.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Broken Hill

Just got back from a short trip to Broken Hill, in the far west of New South Wales. Well, "short" may not be the right word - the roundtrip drive from Canberra was about 2200 km (1350 miles). We thought Canberra was dry, but as we went west along the Hume and then Sturt Highway and then north on the Silver City Highway ("highway" in most of Australia being a two-lane road connecting increasingly distant small towns) we saw real dryness.

We did the drive out there in one long, butt-numbing eleven-hour drive. The last hour or so was kinda harrowing - it was dusk, and that's when the kangaroos come out to play. As we covered the last 200 kilometers or so to Broken Hill, we saw more and more 'roos (and goats, and emus - but it's the kangaroos who don't understand traffic that we were worried about). At one point a big kangaroo stood directly in our lane and only finally hopped off after I started blowing the horn at him (her?) when we were within thirty feet of him. Then it began to rain - a rare event in that part of the world - and the sun went down, and the last 50 km or so were kinda scary. Hitting a kangaroo at 100 km/hour (60 mph) will do a world of hurt to your car.

But finally, we crested a hill and saw Broken Hill glittering in the dark dark desert like a miniature Las Vegas.

Broken Hill is in the outback - it is surrounded by desert scrub and red earth. It only exists as a significant population center (about 25,000 in the town proper) because of the huge silver-lead-zinc deposits discovered there late in the 1800s.

The mining stuff is still key in Broken Hill. The center of town is dominated by a massive slag heap - what was once the "Broken Hill" has been mined away over the decades. On top of the slag heap is a really cool visitors center and the Broken Earth cafe, and then the Mining Memorial. It looks from the outside like a red and rusty miniature version of the Sydney Opera House. Inside the memorial, made from metal and wood like a mine shaft and open to the elements, is a list of the hundreds of men who have died in the mines of Broken Hill since mining began there in the 1880s. Various unpleasant deaths are listed for each of these guys - scalded; heart attack; explosion; coal dust on lungs; crushed by machinery; suffocated; crushed in mine collapse. Mining was - is - a very dangerous line of work. And the memorial is really effective. There were deaths for every year between 1885 and 1992 except for 1981, and the two most recent mine deaths were in 2002.

It is still a mining city - the weekly free newspaper "Barrier Miner" is full of news about what's happening in Broken Hill's mines. But there is more to Broken Hill than just mining. We spent one day hiking around a really cool nature preserve/desert park that the city of Broken Hill runs called the Living Desert, with some desert artwork. And lots of kangaroos, wallabies, weird birds, snakes, lizards, etc. We picked a good time - it was relatively cool (about 75 fahrenheit), because it can get really hot. Oh, and there was one other form of wildlife - flies.

Flies are incredibly annoying in much of Australia. They swarm all over you. They really go for the face and try to get up your nose, in your ears, at your eyes. They are looking for moisture, so if you're sweating you are an even more interesting destination for your average thirsty fly.

We also visited Silverton, a tiny settlement about 15 miles from Broken Hill that was briefly a mining boomtown in the late 19th century. Now it has a couple of dozen residents running various art galleries, inns, and other tourist attractions. It's a pretty cool place and you can get a mean vegetable soup and damper bread at the town cafe; the rain water (a precious commodity there) costs $2 for a bottle.

If you have seen Mad Max II or III, or Priscilla Queen of the Desert, you have seen parts of both Broken Hill and Silverton. The old hotel in Silverton even has one of the cars used by Mel Gibson's Max character parked out in front of it. Pretty cool. There's something about those rural roads that makes you want to drive like Mad Max and the rest of those lunatics in those movies. Unfortunately, the hotel with the copy of Venus on a Half Shell (aka, "The Birth of Venus") painted on the wall that featured in Priscilla had recently closed, I think for renovations, so we had to make do with peering thru the windows.

Broken Hill also has a flourishing art scene. Lots of artists, whether locals like the late Pro Hart, or people who have moved to the area, doing a lot of work depicting the dry red desert, or the mines, or doing work based on aboriginal art traditions.

One other odd attraction is a milk bar called Bell's. It's been around, first as a candy shop, since 1892. It's a cool place, very much out of the 1950s in style. But be warned, if you go there - a "spider" is in fact an ice cream float. And what Australians call a "milkshake" does not meet the American definition. The milkshakes at Bell's were really tasty, but were more an ice cream float made with flavored milk than the thick thick drink we knows as milkshakes in the US of A.

It's a pretty cool town and the countryside around it is stark, desolate, and beautiful. You'll definitely get to see all the kangaroos you would want. My only advice - bring your own water. Broken Hill's water is safe to drink, but it is really a very HARD water. It tasted like metal to me!

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Saturday, October 20, 2007

Useless Information Clogging My Brain

Yeah, there's a lot of it. But it doesn't get much worse than remembering a 30+ year old ditty for a car dealership in Centerville, Ohio. Don't believe me?

If your car is acting funny
making sounds you never heard,
like a screaming wounded banshee
or a wild and woolly bird.
Next time you get a car
heed our word.
Get a Voss
Chevrolet.

So the next time you go shopping
for an auto you can trust.
For a used care or a new one
make it Centerville or bust.
Make yourself a promise,
make it a must.
Get a Voss
Chevrolet.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

The Mongols Are Coming

It's interesting how immigrant communities get established. For example, most people don't know that the second-most spoken foreign language in the Arlington County, Virginia school district (across the Potomac River from Washington, DC) is Mongolian. Yes, really. Since the collapse of communism in Mongolia in 1990, about 20,000 Mongols have emigrated to the US, and Arlington is the capital of Mongolian America.

In this case, I know why they ended up in Arlington. First, the Mongolian Embassy opened in Washington in about 1990, providing a small nucleus of Mongols in the region. And second, the State Department recruited a Mongolian language teacher from Mongolia, to teach the language to diplomats at the State Department's Foreign Service Institute, located in Arlington. With the teacher came his wife and kid and grandkids... and that plus the attraction of the embassy (family members coming to work there too) created the critical mass for Mongolians in Arlington.

So if you're riding the bus in Arlington and see a group of Asians speaking a foreign language, don't assume it's Chinese or Korean. You could be sharing a ride with a descendant of Genghis Khan.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Good News Becomes Bad News for American TV Viewers

First, the good news - NBC, who did a good job of adapting Britain's "The Office" into a hit (and good) American comedy, are going to try the same with "Kath and Kim." "Kath and Kim" is an iconic Aussie comedy about a mother & daughter (called Kath and Kim, it may not surprise you) who live together (with their respective husbands and Kim's baby) in Kath's house in suburban Melbourne. They are not what they think they are - declasse, not classy. Fat and a bit piggish in Kim's case, not beautiful. Prone to hilarious mispronunciations and plugging the wrong words into the wrong place.

It's hilarious. But it definitely is NOT American-style comedy - and like most Australian (and British) series, there are only about 8 episodes per season, not the 15-25 for a typical American show. So NBC will do an American version, with the stars and creators of "Kath & Kim" (Gina Riley and Jane Turner) serving as executive producers a la Ricky Gervais for "The Office."

Okay, now the bad news. NBC has cast somebody in the role of the mother, Kath.

It is Molly Shannon.

Well, so much for THAT show. Molly Shannon was lame on "Saturday Night Live," and has pretty much stunk up the place in everything she has been in since. Putting Molly Shannon's name on a movie or TV show pretty much guarantees it will be much less funny than hoped for or advertised. Kind of like a male Rob Schneider. But I'm sure NBC wanted a "name" to head its line-up. I await with trepidation their casting choice for the daughter Kim.

My prediction - you will be better off getting "Kath and Kim" from Netflix and watching the originals than watching Molly Shannon do anything.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Important News from Britain

Two thoughts about the fact that the Spice Girls are getting back together.

(1) Sorry, Britain, but any aspirations about being "Cool Britannia" are badly undermined by the facts that the Spice Girls are English and that you all bought the tickets for their London show in 38 SECONDS!

(2) The Spices say the motivation for reuniting isn't financial. Right - they just wanted to work through some of the more original ideas thay have for modern popular music. There are complicated and original things they couldn't accomplish during their storied career, tragically cut short (by um what exactly?), that will doubtless push the edge of musical experimentation well beyond anything that tired hacks like Radiohead or OutKast or Bjork or Damon Albarn are doing.

Sorry, I couldn't type that with a straight face. Of course it's about the money - money based on their now-slightly-more-mature (and in some instances, silicon-enhanced) tits-and-ass. I mean, what else was there about the Spice Girls?

Besides, Beckham's dad's heart is dodgy and Posh needs to replenish her shopping budget.

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