The Saga of the Disappearing Light Bulbs

A few weeks ago, a lightbulb disappeared. It was from the outside light on our front porch. And it disappeared yesterday, as well.

In between was much drama.

It seems that this lightbulb offended a guy who lives across the road. Not DIRECTLY across the road - across the road from our neighbors to our right. With the leaves coming off of the trees, now this 60 watt lightbulb shines directly into his house, deeply disturbing him.

How do I know this? He told me. After the first bulb disappearance (a Saturday), we received a letter on that Tuesday from this person, which said (paraphrasing slightly) that our outside light bugged him, so we should spare him and turn it off. That same Tuesday evening our esteemed neighbor from across the road knocked on the door, reeking of booze. He again asked me to turn off the light, which he said was designed to bother him. Many insulting things crossed my mind, including the impulse to tell him to draw his blinds or close his curtains. But I was really pissed, so I kept it short and civil. I told him that I would leave the light on at night, period. We went back and forth a few times, getting nowhere. I finally said "good night" and closed the door. A few minutes later I checked - he had unscrewed the lightbulb. I screwed it back in. The combination of the letter, his harangue, and the unscrewed lightbulb seems to me to be pretty strong circumstantial evidence that this person was the lightbulb thief.

Now this same guy had back in August come out late one night and screamed at our neighbor on the left about HIS light. So he has a track record. On the Wednesday after our Tuesday encounter, he followed our left-neighbor (a very nice guy) home from a convenience store, haranguing him the entire way about HIS light. Our neighbor called the police, but Mr Easily Disturbed By Distant Lights stood there yelling at him anyway. The police showed up quickly.

Mr Easily Disturbed By Distant Lights has been warned about his behavior at least twice now by the police. I thought maybe he had gotten over it, but the disappearance of the lightbulb again shows that perhaps he hasn't. This is not a particularly narrow road. Both houses are reasonably well back from the road as well, unlike some streets here. The STREETLIGHT that is directly in front of this guy's house doesn't seem to bother him. But our feeble little 60 watt bulb somehow does.

Who is this clown? He's nobody special. However, he is nobody special who has had a film made about him by a family member! You can check out the trailer for this documentary, and learn our neighbor's name and see his face, here. I haven't watched the whole thing yet.