Yorick Goes to the Mall

I have a friend getting married next Saturday, so I had to go to the mall to buy a gift.

That sentence is literally true -- I "had to" go to the mall to buy the gift because although my friend is registered at a large department store called Myer, Myer's wedding registries are not available on-line. You have to actually go to the store to a special desk where somebody has access to the registry. Give her the number, and she will print off the list of things on said registry that haven't been purchased yet. You buy the stuff, and bring it back to her so she can check it off the list.

So my officemates and I did that. But it seemed so 1993 somehow. I mean, Myer has the registry on a computer already. How hard would it be to make it available on-line?

Anyway, it was sort of interesting wandering around Myer while waiting to get the registry, and again while waiting for the gifts we bought to be wrapped. For the first time in my certain knowledge, I touched a pot that cost over $350 (US). "It's French," our savvy office management specialist said, as if that simple concept were all the explanation needed to account for the ungodly pricetag. It was certainly heavy, so I guess it could also double as a weapon; you could clobber any intruders with the lid if they had the temerity to invade your kitchen while you were sauteeing mushrooms or doing some other French cooking technique.

And the store was full of Christmas schlock. Australian Christmas schlock bears a strong resemblence to American schlock. Not real surprising, although there were certainly a lot more Christmas-themed beach towels than you'd see in a typical mall in Ohio. They had an assortment of truly odd Christmas ornaments. My favorite was the kangaroo with wings. Yes, wings. Must be an optimistic view of the kangaroo afterlife; after being hit by a truck they get wings and get to adorn plastic Christmas trees. Beats the 7th circle of hell, I guess.